In~laws From Hell
This blog is for everyone who has in~laws who make their life hell. Welcome to Hades! After years of putting up with this BS, I decided to tell my story.I have also recruited some fellow suffers to tell their stories, if you would like to join us just let me know. Misery loves company!!!! firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, November 28, 2008
This is what has been going on since my FIL's funeral and now.
SBIL (Stupid Brother in law) calls his Mommy and whines how he is going to lose everything. MIL calls Dragon and convinces him that he owes it to his brother to loan him $1,500.00 because Dragon had a chance to go to college and SBIL didn't. Dragon studied hard made good grades and with a combination of PELL GRANTS & STUDENT LOANS went to college and got a BS degree. Money was very tight when we first got married due to having to pay off the loans. Which no one in his family helped us with.
Dragon had taken out a personal loan (yep another one, and this one has my name on it too) to repair our roof after it was damaged by a hurricane. We were planning to use the money that we had left over to pay off Dragon's truck because the interest rate on the truck was higher then the interest rate for the personal loan. Instead he gives the money to SBIL, even though I objected.
BB was in a car wreck and totaled his car. We can't afford to buy another one as we still have the loan on my car, the loan on Dragon's truck and the Personal loan to pay off, and two kids in college. SBIL has made no attempt to repay the money we loaned him two years ago. As a result I usually do not have a vehicle and spend the majority of my time stuck at home with no way to go anywhere. (there is no public transportation where we live).
Now MIL is making noises about how Dragon needs to fix up her house for her.................
I am so sick of these people and I am sick of Dragon.
I hate Thanksgiving!!!!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
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Saturday, October 28, 2006
I really loved FIL, and am upset over his passing. It doesn't help that I feel like I am trapped inside one of those daytime soaps.
First MIL and SO accompanied SIL to the family viewing before the wake. What is it about these EX wives, that don't get they aren't part of the family anymore????? This was extremely awkward because SO used to be married to one of FIL's siblings, they DON'T WANT THEIR EX AT THEIR BROTHER'S WAKE, AND THEIR SPOUSE CERTAINLY DOESN'T WANT THE EX AROUND HER HUSBAND. Ray (who is dying of cancer) tells me and several other people that he doesn't want SO & MIL at his funeral. This will cause problems later, but it's another post.
Then SIL makes a big deal about putting something (wrapped in a handkerchief) in the casket for FIL. Step-MIL enlist my aid in retrieving it. SIL has put a locket in the casket that has Love Forever & FIL's name on it, inside is a picture of FIL & MIL (wearing the locket) on one side and SIL on the other. Step-MIL is upset and throws the locket in the trash (I don't blame her).
Then there is the flowers ............................
Jay's (Dragon's half brother) wife Lisa calls, they are going to send an arrangement from the children, would we like to go in with them? and how much would we like to contribute. I really like the way Lisa handled this. She didn't pressure anyone to contribute a certain amount as she knew some people could afford more then others and she ASKED if we would like to be included. We told her yes. Dragon asked if she had called SIL, yes she had but SIL said she didn't want to be included. Dragon assumed SIL didn't have the money so he gave Lisa more cash and asked her to put SIL's name on the arrangement too, which Lisa did. Which made what SIL did even tackier, SIL sent an arrangement that had beloved HUSBAND and beloved Father on it, it was signed Love MIL (who has been divorced from FIL for 30 years), SIL & her brat, Dragon, and SBIL. Neither Dragon's or SBIL's wives or children were mentioned, and neither one of her brothers knew she was sending the arrangement. But get this she expects DRAGON to PAY FOR IT. It's not happening, we went in with the other kids and I am not paying for two arrangements especially since this one is so hurtful, and especially since she excluded ME and Dragon's kids from the card while including her own brat. If I pay for something it darn well better have my name and my kids names on it. For once Dragon backs me up. It's a mixture of white roses and 5 red roses representing MIL, SIL & her brat, Dragon, & SBIL (and I'll explain the significance of the roses later). Needless to say Step-MIL and the half siblings are upset.
The wake is a nightmare, MIL plops herself in the receiving line and introduces herself as "THE WIDOW". When people who know he is married to Step-MIL look at her weird she explains "I AM DRAGON SR'S FIRST WIFE' (like he is a polygamist), when they still look at her weird she says "I AM DRAGON JR'S MOTHER". MIL has also made a big deal of wanting a copy of FIL death certificate, supposedly for her scrapbook. When they order death certificates Dragon makes sure MIL gets one.
At the graveside SIL grandstands. She takes the red roses out of the flower arrangement she sent that she has made sure was placed at the head of the grave, and hands one to Dragon, one to SBIL, one to her brat, one to MIL and keeps one for herself. They are instructed that they are to walk up to the grave say something about how much they love FIL and throw the rose in. Step-MIL, the half siblings and the spouses and children of Dragon and SBIL have HURTFULLY been left out of this touching display that SIL has arranged. Dragon does get upset with her about this on his Step-MIL's and half siblings behalf but buys that she just didn't realize they would be upset. Sweet angelic SIL would never deliberately hurt anyone!!!!!!!
(FIL is retired and drawing SS at the time of his death. Step-MIL is also retired and receives a small pension from a job she previously worked at) A couple of months after FIL's death, Step-MIL returns to the workforce. Dragon ask why Step-MIL has gone back to work. She explains that without FIL's SS she can't afford to retire early and that she will have to wait until she is 62 until she can draw it. She is only 55 now. Dragon lets it slip that MIL (who is now 63) is drawing FIL's SS. Step-MIL tries to tell him that she can't be drawing FIL's SS as she is NOT his widow. This apparently is news to Dragon. I guess now we know why MIL wanted a copy of the death certificate. I predict that when Step-MIL hits 62 and attempts to draw SS as FIL's widow the fat will hit the fan......................... But in the meantime MIL and SO's money woes are over.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Some idiot of a real estate agent convinced Dragon if he would spend 5K on cosmetic changes (new paint & carpet) that they could get 80K for the house, and that it would be easy to sell because it's in the best school district in Hades.
Dragon refused to listen to anything I had to say. To any logic I tried to insert he would reply YOU ARE NOT A REAL ESTATE AGENT! OK, I am not a real estate agent, but I have been a home buyer and I know that 1.) I want to pick out the color paint and carpet for my new home. You are not going to score brownie points with me because you put fresh paint on the walls and new carpet on the floor IF it's not what I would have picked out. I am still going to try to get the house for less so I can change the color scheme to my choice not the previous owners. 2.) The only people who care if a house is in a good school district are people who have kids or are planning on having kids. In other words people who will be using the schools. People who have kids or are planning on having kids want something larger then a small one bedroom, one bath house. They actually want room for their kids or potential kids.
So Dragon gets a 5K personal loan behind my back to fix the house up and goes to Hades for a month to remodel it. The house is finally ready to be put on the market. Three months later a potential home buyer makes an offer. An older single woman on a fixed income who is depending on a HUD loan. Big surprise, the house doesn't meet HUD requirements, there is some structural damage to the house, which will cost more money then Dragon has to fix, until it is fixed HUD will not loan money for the house (Dragon assumed that since his Grandmother had a HUD Loan, and the real estate agent led him to believe that since that was the case, it would meet HUD requirements -this is not true).
6 months later, no other offers have been made on the house. In the meantime we are still having to make payments on the 5K personal loan.
A year later Dragon is offered 70K for the house. The same real estate agent that told him he could get 80K if he would spend money painting it, and putting new carpet in advises him to take the 70K. The potential new owner doesn't like the color paint or carpet Dragon installed, so she isn't willing to pay more, since she insist it will have to be redone. Dragon accepts the 70K offer. The money barely covers the cost of the real estate agent, the remainder GIL owed on her mortgage and repays the personal loan Dragon took out, what little is left over goes to repay the credit card companies and the title loan company GIL owes money too. Dragon is crushed that MIL and Aunt CC aren't going to get anything from the sell of the house and our marriage is in shambles. Now in HINDSIGHT, he wishes he had let the title loan company have the car (instead of wasting his time and money fixing it up to sell), now in Hindsight he wouldn't have wasted his time and money fixing up the house. He even admits he should have listened to ME!!!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
First off GIL died without a will. They found a copy of a will that a lawyer at legal aid drew up for her. In it she left everything to SIL. SBILSW is furious and is ranting about how hurt SBIL is. But they can't find the original so it is a moot point in the eyes of the law she died without a will the copy doesn't count. Which means they don't have to honor the fact that GIL names her younger sister as the executor in the copy of the will they found. MIL insist that Dragon should be the administrator even though we live out of town. (Our life will now be put on HOLD for two years while Dragon deals with GIL's estate).
MIL also insist that Dragon deal with ALL the funeral arrangements, which means he has to leave for Hades a week before the funeral, MIL insist that there is no reason for me and the kids to come up with him, we can wait and come up the day before the funeral. I am so tired of that B*** trying to run my life. The day of the funeral me and the kids are out at my Mother's visiting with them, Dragon insist that WE must get to the funeral home an hour before the funeral, which I do. Dragon, MIL, SO, SIL, Aunt CC, SBIL, & SBILSW are not there. The arrangements haven't been finalized so the funeral director ask me to make the decisions, as I am the only one there (Of course whatever I do will be wrong). A scant five minutes before the funeral Dragon, MIL, SO and SIL arrive. MIL didn't have any gas in the SUV, the van wouldn't start, SIL's car isn't big enough to hold everyone, and Jade had Dragon's car (actually it's my car but MIL always refers to it as Dragon's, Dragon has a pickup). So Dragon had to work on the van in order to get it started before the funeral, making them LATE. SBIL & SBILSW are late because they got in a fight before the funeral, and arrive as we are walking into the sanctuary. But other then that we get GIL buried without a hitch.
Now the real nightmare begins. GIL had 10 maxed out credit cards, a house with a HUD mortgage that is falling apart and she got a title loan on her car for more then it is worth. But MIL is screaming that Dragon can't let them repossess GIL's car. So STUPID Dragon has the car towed to our house at MIL's insistence so the title company can't find it. I just love having a junk car sitting in my yard. Then she insist that GIL's house needs to be fixed up before they can sell it. The fact that there isn't any money to fix it up isn't a problem Dragon can just get a loan!!!!! So STUPID Dragon gets a personal loan to fix GIL's house up. Never mind that we are living in a fixer upper that isn't fixed because WE HAVE BEEN SAVING OUR MONEY AND DOING ONE ROOM AT A TIME AS WE GET THE MONEY, BECAUSE DRAGON DIDN'T WANT TO BORROW MONEY TO FIX OUR HOME. Not only did Dragon get a loan to fix the house up he also took a month off from work in order to go to Hades and work on the damn house. So I don't see my hubby for an entire month while he lives with his Mommy and fixes up GIL's home, and he wonders why I am not a happy camper and accuses me of not supporting him. I didn't realize support meant endorsing STUPID ideas, instigated by his Mother. He is also down on himself because GIL owed so much money, HE SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE FOR HER, HE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HER MONEY! Never mind that most of the charges on the credit cards were for expensive wedding gifts for people she barely knew, never mind that the biggest charge on her credit card was for a 2K shed for SIL. If he is upset with anyone it should be SIL for taking advantage of GIL, but no he is MAD AT JADE BECAUSE SHE WOULDN'T LET HIM THROW MONEY AT HIS FAMILY. He is also very depressed and winds up on anti-depressants.
MIL comes up with the STUPID idea that we should buy GIL's junk car for BB, who will be graduating this year. Dragon and I get in huge fights because I refused to allow him to buy the piece of JUNK. It doesn't RUN, it doesn't have air bags, it doesn't have anti-lock brakes..........it's a death trap. IF it was any good then MIL would want it for herself, or SIL would want it, the fact that neither want it shows how little they think it is worth. Dragon FINALLY agrees to stick to our original plan, and BB gets a decent car. We still get saddled with the piece of JUNK until Dragon can sell it. First he has to fix it. The man who refuses to put oil in our cars because he HATES having to work on cars, is now spending all his free time working on this piece of JUNK. He finally gets it to run. We then have to buy insurance and a tag for it, so he can drive it. He drives it to work. My phone rings "Can I come get him the car won't start". Weeks later he gets it to run again, again he drives it to work, again my phone rings "Can I bring him his tool box, the car broke down on the way to work". He finally gets it to run long enough to sell it. He gets $600 for it. It cost him $300 at least in parts to fix it (I suspect it cost more, but I can only find receipts for $300). So MIL and Aunt CC split the remaining $300. The car loan company got $900 from the estate, so the car that MIL was terrified of them repossessing didn't even bring in as much money as the estate paid out to the title loan company.
Stay tuned for GIL Passes Away Part III (selling the house).
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I feel bad for Dragon, I know he loved his Grandmother. She was probably more of a Mother to him then MIL ever was. GIL raised Dragon until he was three because MIL didn't want him and even said she wished he was dead when he was born. For some reason after MIL had stupid brother, GIL and FIL decided that it was time for Dragon to come back to live with FIL & MIL. I can only imagine how upsetting this must have been for him, and I have to admit I don't see the logic behind it. MIL has a new baby (that she apparently does want) to care for, so they send the toddler she didn't want back to live with her.
But I digress back to the funeral. First off MIL has decided that the spouses shouldn't sit with the family. OK, what's the point of me showing up if I can't sit by Dragon and offer support. And I have NEVER heard of the spouses being told that they aren't family, so sit somewhere else. I suspect MIL did this because SIL's married lover can't sit with her. But whatever, MIL gets to call the shots. Dragon insist he wants me at the funeral (since I wasn't going to be allowed to be with him; I actually figured I wouldn't go) so I plan to sit with SBILSW (Stupid Brother In-Law's Stupid Wife). But MIL who didn't want the spouses sitting with the family invites SBILSW to sit by her, leaving Jade to sit alone!!!!!!! And Dragon doesn't have a clue why I am upset.
Then SBILSW who has always been the center of attention at every gathering apparently feels neglected. No one is interested in listening to how her Mother died when she was 3 in a trailer fire and she never got over it, or how her step-brother sexually molested her (the same step-brother she allows to babysit?), or how her brother committed suicide, or how upsetting the miscarriage she had 2 years ago was, we are more interested in paying our respects to the deceased and offering support to MIL, Dragon and his siblings (after all she has bored us with these "facts" numerous times). So she starts running around asking people if the dress she has on is appropriate? That it was the only thing she could find, is it to low cut? Too short? Honestly all I remember about the dress is it was black I told her I thought it looked fine. But she runs to SBIL and tells him that she overheard me criticizing her dress and her feelings are so hurt (I guess that is one way to get your husband to pay attention to you at his Grandmother's funeral). SBIL confronts Dragon "mean Jade, hurt his wife's feelings". Dragon and I get in a fight and Dragon lets it slip that this isn't the first time SBILSW has lied about something I said.
Apparently when they came over to our house two years ago with their computer for Dragon to fix a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and SBILSW insisted that we go off on our own so we could "girl talk" she had an agenda. I actually did very little talking. SBILSW dredge up her Mother's death, her brother's suicide, her step-brother molesting her and her miscarriage. Since I have heard all this before numerous times I mainly made sympathetic noises, "that must have been hard for you", "I am sorry you had to go through that", etc. Since the miscarriage was recent I really did feel sorry she had to go through that; even though she smoked and drank beer the entire time she was pg. The fact she was crying when we walked up to the house didn't set off any alarm bells (hello the woman had recently had a miscarriage - I figured she was entitled to shed a few tears). She also shared that MIL & SO had taken all the baby presents they had given her back when they came to stay with "the brat" while she was in the hospital without telling her. I figured they did it because they didn't want her to be upset when she came home and saw the baby stuff, she called it stealing. I said something noncommittal like they probably didn't want her to be upset when she saw the baby stuff and left it at that. I never used the word stealing.
SBILSW, told him that I told her that MIL had accused her of stealing money from GIL. As a result she was much to upset to spend Thanksgiving with MIL (I guess that is one way to get out of spending Thanksgiving with your in-laws). SBIL called MIL and cussed her out, she called Dragon and fussed about Jade spreading vicious rumors but made him promise not to say anything to me about it. Dragon got mad at me, our Thanksgiving was ruined BUT I HAD NO IDEA WHY AS HE REFUSED TO TELL ME, until years later after GIL's funeral.
This time I can prove that SHE IS LYING. I challenge Dragon to call everyone at the funeral and ask them if I said anything about the bitch's dress. He refuses to do so, of course he also refuses to say he believes me "why would SBILSW lie?". He prefers to think she misunderstood, something she overheard. SBIL sends me a bunch of nasty emails. I sent a reply that I copied to Dragon so they can't LIE about what I said I have set their emails to go to my junk mail folder where they will be deleted without being read and I will not answer the phone when they call, because I am not going to give them another opportunity to LIE to Dragon or anyone else about what Jade said. SBILSW of course wants to make up now, she is so sorry for all the trouble she caused, why can't we be friends ad nauseam. She has to be crazy!!!! I have no intention of being friends with someone who lies about me in order to get attention, or in order to get out of doing something they don't want to do.
This post is already really long so stay tuned for how GIL Causes Trouble From the Grave Part II.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Dragon gave me a trip to paradise for our 10th anniversary. Before we left we took the kids to Hades to stay with my parents. Of course when MIL discovered the kids were staying with my parents for a week, she started in on her it's not fair routine. So Dragon insisted that she get the kids all day Monday, Tuesday & Thursday. My parents would have them Wednesday & Friday, and until we got back to pick them up Saturday.
MIL called Sunday night to tell my Mother that "she better have them ready for her to pick up first thing in the morning". My Mother assured her the kids would be ready by 6AM. They like to get up and eat breakfast with my parents and help my Dad feed the horses, cows, chickens and whatever other critter he happens to have. MIL laughed and said that was earlier then she had planned that as long as they were ready by 8AM, it would be fine. Supposedly she was going to take the kids sailing. 8AM comes and goes, 9AM, 10AM, 11AM, Noon still no MIL. Since the kids are hungry Mother feeds them lunch. 1PM MIL calls and ask to speak to the kids, she ask if they have eaten lunch yet. When they say yes, she goes ballistic and rants that she was going to take them to McDonald's, but since they have already eaten lunch there isn't any point. She ask to speak to my Mom and cusses her out for feeding the kids lunch, then informs her that since they have eaten her plans to take them to McDonald's are shot so she won't bother picking them up today, but she'll be by first thing Tuesday to get them and they better be ready.
Tuesday my Mom has a Doctors appointment. She was going to reschedule but since MIL is suppose to have the kids she didn't. The appointment isn't until 1PM so surely MIL will have picked up the kids before she has to leave at 12:3o PM. By noon my Mother still hasn't heard from MIL, it's to late to cancel the appointment without being charged, so she ask her neighbor if she will stay with the kids until MIL gets there. My Mother fixes the kids a small snack before she leaves because they are hungry. MIL never shows up. That evening MIL calls and cusses my Mother out; when she came to get the kids no one was home. MIL informs her the kids were there waiting for her all day. Well when they came by there weren't any cars in the driveway, so they drove off. They didn't get out, they didn't ring the door bell, they just drove by and saw there weren't any vehicles in the driveway and drove off in a huff. Uhh how did they know Dad didn't have the vehicles around back washing them? Why were my parents obligated to keep a car in the driveway? MIL snarls that the kids better be ready first thing Thursday morning and hangs up.
Thursday MIL shows up around 10AM. She tells the kids it is too late to go sailing. But hey they can go sailing with her Friday (my parents day to have the kids). They tell her they already have plans and NO they do not want to change them. She gets pissed off with them and takes them to her house, when they ask for lunch she gives them some slimy hotdogs straight out of the refrigerator and throws a hissy fit when they refuse to eat them because they have mold on them. The kids then ask if they can go back to Grandma's house, they are tired of sitting around doing nothing and they are hungry. MIL takes them back to my Mom's. She gets out of the car and tells my Mother that she wants the kids Friday. Mother tells her they already have plans, but the kids can decide which they would rather do. The kids butt in with the fact that they have already told MIL that they don't want to go with her Friday, that they have plans and they don't want to change them. MIL leaves in a huff and states she will call first thing Friday in case they have changed their mind.
Friday my Dad is outside feeding the animals and my Mom is in the bathroom when MIL calls. BB answers the phone and tells her again they do not want to go with her. They inform my Mom that MIL has already called, they answered the phone and told her NO! So they leave with my parents and the kids friends (whom my parents have invited along) for a trail ride.
Saturday Dragon and I return to Hades to pick up the kids. Dragon runs out to his Mom's to visit. When he comes back he is in a BAD MOOD. I ask him what's the matter and he says "NOTHING". After talking with the kids I discover the stunts MIL pulled and call my Mom to ask about them. She confirms everything the kids told me and adds that she didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to upset me.
So I confront Dragon, "What did MIL say to put you in a BAD MOOD, we were getting along GREAT until you went to visit her, now YOU are treating me like "S***" and I am tired of it". Mommy didn't want to cause trouble between me and Dragon, so she made him promise not to say anything to me. She just told told him a load of BS because she NEEDED someone to talk to (Yeah right, that's what women always say to the STUPID GUY when they want to cause trouble. If they didn't want to cause trouble they wouldn't say anything. So if any guys are reading this get a clue - when a woman says I don't want to cause trouble between you and __________, I just need someone to talk to what she is really saying is I want you and ________ to get in a fight.).
According to her they over slept Monday (and why is that my parents fault?) and when they woke up MIL didn't feel well. When she got to feeling better she called to see if the kids wanted to go eat lunch but my Mother had already feed them (and she couldn't call before 1PM to explain why she didn't show up at 8AM which is when she said she would be there why? my Mother was suppose to know she wanted to take the kids to lunch how?) Dragon is finally forced to admit that his Mother should have called before 1PM if she wanted to take the kids to lunch, that there was no reason she couldn't have still taken them to McDonald's to play on the playground and gotten them a milkshake or something -after all it's the playground the kids like not the food).
MIL told him Tuesday when they came by no one was there. They wasted their gas and time driving all the way out there and my parents and the kids were gone. I inform Dragon that the kids were there ALL DAY, that my Mom asked a neighbor to come by and stay with the kids until MIL got there because she had to go to a Doctor's appointment and that MIL knows this because my Mom told her when she called that night and cussed my Mother out, and that IF MIL had bothered to stop and ring the door bell she would have been able to get the kids, instead of just driving by. Dragon calls his Mother and ask her IF she rang the doorbell Tuesday. Well NO, they saw all the vehicles were gone so they assumed no one was home and didn't stop (and how is that my parents fault?).
MIL also complained that my parents wouldn't let her have Friday, and it wasn't fair because they had them all day Monday & Tuesday even though those were the days she was suppose to have them and they could have gone trail riding then. I point out that they couldn't have gone trail riding Monday or Tuesday because they were stuck sitting around waiting for MIL to show up (He didn't think of that). Not to mention my Mother had a Doctor's appointment Tuesday. And that the kids had been looking forward to spending time with their friends Friday, since they hadn't gotten to see them the rest of the week ( their friends grandparents are my parents neighbors - they were unable to come visit earlier in the week because their parents had to work). Dragon finally admits it was unfair to expect the kids to change their plans; especially at the last minute. He also can't come up with a good reason why MIL didn't take the kids to McDonald's Thursday when she had them instead of trying to feed them raw, moldy hotdogs because that was all she had - and they never cook their hotdogs, they like them raw. He also has to admit that there was no way my parents could get in touch with MIL because she will not answer the phone.
Dragon may no longer be mad, but now I am furious. First that MIL treated my parents the way she did. Secondly that Dragon got mad at me for something I had no control over. I am also very sad that we will never be able to go anywhere alone until the kids are grown or MIL is dead without MIL causing trouble over the kids spending time with my parents.