This blog is for everyone who has in~laws who make their life hell. Welcome to Hades! After years of putting up with this BS, I decided to tell my story.I have also recruited some fellow suffers to tell their stories, if you would like to join us just let me know. Misery loves company!!!! firstname.lastname@example.org
Saturday, November 11, 2006
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Saturday, October 28, 2006
I really loved FIL, and am upset over his passing. It doesn't help that I feel like I am trapped inside one of those daytime soaps.
First MIL and SO accompanied SIL to the family viewing before the wake. What is it about these EX wives, that don't get they aren't part of the family anymore????? This was extremely awkward because SO used to be married to one of FIL's siblings, they DON'T WANT THEIR EX AT THEIR BROTHER'S WAKE, AND THEIR SPOUSE CERTAINLY DOESN'T WANT THE EX AROUND HER HUSBAND. Ray (who is dying of cancer) tells me and several other people that he doesn't want SO & MIL at his funeral. This will cause problems later, but it's another post.
Then SIL makes a big deal about putting something (wrapped in a handkerchief) in the casket for FIL. Step-MIL enlist my aid in retrieving it. SIL has put a locket in the casket that has Love Forever & FIL's name on it, inside is a picture of FIL & MIL (wearing the locket) on one side and SIL on the other. Step-MIL is upset and throws the locket in the trash (I don't blame her).
Then there is the flowers ............................
Jay's (Dragon's half brother) wife Lisa calls, they are going to send an arrangement from the children, would we like to go in with them? and how much would we like to contribute. I really like the way Lisa handled this. She didn't pressure anyone to contribute a certain amount as she knew some people could afford more then others and she ASKED if we would like to be included. We told her yes. Dragon asked if she had called SIL, yes she had but SIL said she didn't want to be included. Dragon assumed SIL didn't have the money so he gave Lisa more cash and asked her to put SIL's name on the arrangement too, which Lisa did. Which made what SIL did even tackier, SIL sent an arrangement that had beloved HUSBAND and beloved Father on it, it was signed Love MIL (who has been divorced from FIL for 30 years), SIL & her brat, Dragon, and SBIL. Neither Dragon's or SBIL's wives or children were mentioned, and neither one of her brothers knew she was sending the arrangement. But get this she expects DRAGON to PAY FOR IT. It's not happening, we went in with the other kids and I am not paying for two arrangements especially since this one is so hurtful, and especially since she excluded ME and Dragon's kids from the card while including her own brat. If I pay for something it darn well better have my name and my kids names on it. For once Dragon backs me up. It's a mixture of white roses and 5 red roses representing MIL, SIL & her brat, Dragon, & SBIL (and I'll explain the significance of the roses later). Needless to say Step-MIL and the half siblings are upset.
The wake is a nightmare, MIL plops herself in the receiving line and introduces herself as "THE WIDOW". When people who know he is married to Step-MIL look at her weird she explains "I AM DRAGON SR'S FIRST WIFE' (like he is a polygamist), when they still look at her weird she says "I AM DRAGON JR'S MOTHER". MIL has also made a big deal of wanting a copy of FIL death certificate, supposedly for her scrapbook. When they order death certificates Dragon makes sure MIL gets one.
At the graveside SIL grandstands. She takes the red roses out of the flower arrangement she sent that she has made sure was placed at the head of the grave, and hands one to Dragon, one to SBIL, one to her brat, one to MIL and keeps one for herself. They are instructed that they are to walk up to the grave say something about how much they love FIL and throw the rose in. Step-MIL, the half siblings and the spouses and children of Dragon and SBIL have HURTFULLY been left out of this touching display that SIL has arranged. Dragon does get upset with her about this on his Step-MIL's and half siblings behalf but buys that she just didn't realize they would be upset. Sweet angelic SIL would never deliberately hurt anyone!!!!!!!
(FIL is retired and drawing SS at the time of his death. Step-MIL is also retired and receives a small pension from a job she previously worked at) A couple of months after FIL's death, Step-MIL returns to the workforce. Dragon ask why Step-MIL has gone back to work. She explains that without FIL's SS she can't afford to retire early and that she will have to wait until she is 62 until she can draw it. She is only 55 now. Dragon lets it slip that MIL (who is now 63) is drawing FIL's SS. Step-MIL tries to tell him that she can't be drawing FIL's SS as she is NOT his widow. This apparently is news to Dragon. I guess now we know why MIL wanted a copy of the death certificate. I predict that when Step-MIL hits 62 and attempts to draw SS as FIL's widow the fat will hit the fan......................... But in the meantime MIL and SO's money woes are over.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Some idiot of a real estate agent convinced Dragon if he would spend 5K on cosmetic changes (new paint & carpet) that they could get 80K for the house, and that it would be easy to sell because it's in the best school district in Hades.
Dragon refused to listen to anything I had to say. To any logic I tried to insert he would reply YOU ARE NOT A REAL ESTATE AGENT! OK, I am not a real estate agent, but I have been a home buyer and I know that 1.) I want to pick out the color paint and carpet for my new home. You are not going to score brownie points with me because you put fresh paint on the walls and new carpet on the floor IF it's not what I would have picked out. I am still going to try to get the house for less so I can change the color scheme to my choice not the previous owners. 2.) The only people who care if a house is in a good school district are people who have kids or are planning on having kids. In other words people who will be using the schools. People who have kids or are planning on having kids want something larger then a small one bedroom, one bath house. They actually want room for their kids or potential kids.
So Dragon gets a 5K personal loan behind my back to fix the house up and goes to Hades for a month to remodel it. The house is finally ready to be put on the market. Three months later a potential home buyer makes an offer. An older single woman on a fixed income who is depending on a HUD loan. Big surprise, the house doesn't meet HUD requirements, there is some structural damage to the house, which will cost more money then Dragon has to fix, until it is fixed HUD will not loan money for the house (Dragon assumed that since his Grandmother had a HUD Loan, and the real estate agent led him to believe that since that was the case, it would meet HUD requirements -this is not true).
6 months later, no other offers have been made on the house. In the meantime we are still having to make payments on the 5K personal loan.
A year later Dragon is offered 70K for the house. The same real estate agent that told him he could get 80K if he would spend money painting it, and putting new carpet in advises him to take the 70K. The potential new owner doesn't like the color paint or carpet Dragon installed, so she isn't willing to pay more, since she insist it will have to be redone. Dragon accepts the 70K offer. The money barely covers the cost of the real estate agent, the remainder GIL owed on her mortgage and repays the personal loan Dragon took out, what little is left over goes to repay the credit card companies and the title loan company GIL owes money too. Dragon is crushed that MIL and Aunt CC aren't going to get anything from the sell of the house and our marriage is in shambles. Now in HINDSIGHT, he wishes he had let the title loan company have the car (instead of wasting his time and money fixing it up to sell), now in Hindsight he wouldn't have wasted his time and money fixing up the house. He even admits he should have listened to ME!!!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
First off GIL died without a will. They found a copy of a will that a lawyer at legal aid drew up for her. In it she left everything to SIL. SBILSW is furious and is ranting about how hurt SBIL is. But they can't find the original so it is a moot point in the eyes of the law she died without a will the copy doesn't count. Which means they don't have to honor the fact that GIL names her younger sister as the executor in the copy of the will they found. MIL insist that Dragon should be the administrator even though we live out of town. (Our life will now be put on HOLD for two years while Dragon deals with GIL's estate).
MIL also insist that Dragon deal with ALL the funeral arrangements, which means he has to leave for Hades a week before the funeral, MIL insist that there is no reason for me and the kids to come up with him, we can wait and come up the day before the funeral. I am so tired of that B*** trying to run my life. The day of the funeral me and the kids are out at my Mother's visiting with them, Dragon insist that WE must get to the funeral home an hour before the funeral, which I do. Dragon, MIL, SO, SIL, Aunt CC, SBIL, & SBILSW are not there. The arrangements haven't been finalized so the funeral director ask me to make the decisions, as I am the only one there (Of course whatever I do will be wrong). A scant five minutes before the funeral Dragon, MIL, SO and SIL arrive. MIL didn't have any gas in the SUV, the van wouldn't start, SIL's car isn't big enough to hold everyone, and Jade had Dragon's car (actually it's my car but MIL always refers to it as Dragon's, Dragon has a pickup). So Dragon had to work on the van in order to get it started before the funeral, making them LATE. SBIL & SBILSW are late because they got in a fight before the funeral, and arrive as we are walking into the sanctuary. But other then that we get GIL buried without a hitch.
Now the real nightmare begins. GIL had 10 maxed out credit cards, a house with a HUD mortgage that is falling apart and she got a title loan on her car for more then it is worth. But MIL is screaming that Dragon can't let them repossess GIL's car. So STUPID Dragon has the car towed to our house at MIL's insistence so the title company can't find it. I just love having a junk car sitting in my yard. Then she insist that GIL's house needs to be fixed up before they can sell it. The fact that there isn't any money to fix it up isn't a problem Dragon can just get a loan!!!!! So STUPID Dragon gets a personal loan to fix GIL's house up. Never mind that we are living in a fixer upper that isn't fixed because WE HAVE BEEN SAVING OUR MONEY AND DOING ONE ROOM AT A TIME AS WE GET THE MONEY, BECAUSE DRAGON DIDN'T WANT TO BORROW MONEY TO FIX OUR HOME. Not only did Dragon get a loan to fix the house up he also took a month off from work in order to go to Hades and work on the damn house. So I don't see my hubby for an entire month while he lives with his Mommy and fixes up GIL's home, and he wonders why I am not a happy camper and accuses me of not supporting him. I didn't realize support meant endorsing STUPID ideas, instigated by his Mother. He is also down on himself because GIL owed so much money, HE SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE FOR HER, HE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HER MONEY! Never mind that most of the charges on the credit cards were for expensive wedding gifts for people she barely knew, never mind that the biggest charge on her credit card was for a 2K shed for SIL. If he is upset with anyone it should be SIL for taking advantage of GIL, but no he is MAD AT JADE BECAUSE SHE WOULDN'T LET HIM THROW MONEY AT HIS FAMILY. He is also very depressed and winds up on anti-depressants.
MIL comes up with the STUPID idea that we should buy GIL's junk car for BB, who will be graduating this year. Dragon and I get in huge fights because I refused to allow him to buy the piece of JUNK. It doesn't RUN, it doesn't have air bags, it doesn't have anti-lock brakes..........it's a death trap. IF it was any good then MIL would want it for herself, or SIL would want it, the fact that neither want it shows how little they think it is worth. Dragon FINALLY agrees to stick to our original plan, and BB gets a decent car. We still get saddled with the piece of JUNK until Dragon can sell it. First he has to fix it. The man who refuses to put oil in our cars because he HATES having to work on cars, is now spending all his free time working on this piece of JUNK. He finally gets it to run. We then have to buy insurance and a tag for it, so he can drive it. He drives it to work. My phone rings "Can I come get him the car won't start". Weeks later he gets it to run again, again he drives it to work, again my phone rings "Can I bring him his tool box, the car broke down on the way to work". He finally gets it to run long enough to sell it. He gets $600 for it. It cost him $300 at least in parts to fix it (I suspect it cost more, but I can only find receipts for $300). So MIL and Aunt CC split the remaining $300. The car loan company got $900 from the estate, so the car that MIL was terrified of them repossessing didn't even bring in as much money as the estate paid out to the title loan company.
Stay tuned for GIL Passes Away Part III (selling the house).
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I feel bad for Dragon, I know he loved his Grandmother. She was probably more of a Mother to him then MIL ever was. GIL raised Dragon until he was three because MIL didn't want him and even said she wished he was dead when he was born. For some reason after MIL had stupid brother, GIL and FIL decided that it was time for Dragon to come back to live with FIL & MIL. I can only imagine how upsetting this must have been for him, and I have to admit I don't see the logic behind it. MIL has a new baby (that she apparently does want) to care for, so they send the toddler she didn't want back to live with her.
But I digress back to the funeral. First off MIL has decided that the spouses shouldn't sit with the family. OK, what's the point of me showing up if I can't sit by Dragon and offer support. And I have NEVER heard of the spouses being told that they aren't family, so sit somewhere else. I suspect MIL did this because SIL's married lover can't sit with her. But whatever, MIL gets to call the shots. Dragon insist he wants me at the funeral (since I wasn't going to be allowed to be with him; I actually figured I wouldn't go) so I plan to sit with SBILSW (Stupid Brother In-Law's Stupid Wife). But MIL who didn't want the spouses sitting with the family invites SBILSW to sit by her, leaving Jade to sit alone!!!!!!! And Dragon doesn't have a clue why I am upset.
Then SBILSW who has always been the center of attention at every gathering apparently feels neglected. No one is interested in listening to how her Mother died when she was 3 in a trailer fire and she never got over it, or how her step-brother sexually molested her (the same step-brother she allows to babysit?), or how her brother committed suicide, or how upsetting the miscarriage she had 2 years ago was, we are more interested in paying our respects to the deceased and offering support to MIL, Dragon and his siblings (after all she has bored us with these "facts" numerous times). So she starts running around asking people if the dress she has on is appropriate? That it was the only thing she could find, is it to low cut? Too short? Honestly all I remember about the dress is it was black I told her I thought it looked fine. But she runs to SBIL and tells him that she overheard me criticizing her dress and her feelings are so hurt (I guess that is one way to get your husband to pay attention to you at his Grandmother's funeral). SBIL confronts Dragon "mean Jade, hurt his wife's feelings". Dragon and I get in a fight and Dragon lets it slip that this isn't the first time SBILSW has lied about something I said.
Apparently when they came over to our house two years ago with their computer for Dragon to fix a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and SBILSW insisted that we go off on our own so we could "girl talk" she had an agenda. I actually did very little talking. SBILSW dredge up her Mother's death, her brother's suicide, her step-brother molesting her and her miscarriage. Since I have heard all this before numerous times I mainly made sympathetic noises, "that must have been hard for you", "I am sorry you had to go through that", etc. Since the miscarriage was recent I really did feel sorry she had to go through that; even though she smoked and drank beer the entire time she was pg. The fact she was crying when we walked up to the house didn't set off any alarm bells (hello the woman had recently had a miscarriage - I figured she was entitled to shed a few tears). She also shared that MIL & SO had taken all the baby presents they had given her back when they came to stay with "the brat" while she was in the hospital without telling her. I figured they did it because they didn't want her to be upset when she came home and saw the baby stuff, she called it stealing. I said something noncommittal like they probably didn't want her to be upset when she saw the baby stuff and left it at that. I never used the word stealing.
SBILSW, told him that I told her that MIL had accused her of stealing money from GIL. As a result she was much to upset to spend Thanksgiving with MIL (I guess that is one way to get out of spending Thanksgiving with your in-laws). SBIL called MIL and cussed her out, she called Dragon and fussed about Jade spreading vicious rumors but made him promise not to say anything to me about it. Dragon got mad at me, our Thanksgiving was ruined BUT I HAD NO IDEA WHY AS HE REFUSED TO TELL ME, until years later after GIL's funeral.
This time I can prove that SHE IS LYING. I challenge Dragon to call everyone at the funeral and ask them if I said anything about the bitch's dress. He refuses to do so, of course he also refuses to say he believes me "why would SBILSW lie?". He prefers to think she misunderstood, something she overheard. SBIL sends me a bunch of nasty emails. I sent a reply that I copied to Dragon so they can't LIE about what I said I have set their emails to go to my junk mail folder where they will be deleted without being read and I will not answer the phone when they call, because I am not going to give them another opportunity to LIE to Dragon or anyone else about what Jade said. SBILSW of course wants to make up now, she is so sorry for all the trouble she caused, why can't we be friends ad nauseam. She has to be crazy!!!! I have no intention of being friends with someone who lies about me in order to get attention, or in order to get out of doing something they don't want to do.
This post is already really long so stay tuned for how GIL Causes Trouble From the Grave Part II.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Dragon gave me a trip to paradise for our 10th anniversary. Before we left we took the kids to Hades to stay with my parents. Of course when MIL discovered the kids were staying with my parents for a week, she started in on her it's not fair routine. So Dragon insisted that she get the kids all day Monday, Tuesday & Thursday. My parents would have them Wednesday & Friday, and until we got back to pick them up Saturday.
MIL called Sunday night to tell my Mother that "she better have them ready for her to pick up first thing in the morning". My Mother assured her the kids would be ready by 6AM. They like to get up and eat breakfast with my parents and help my Dad feed the horses, cows, chickens and whatever other critter he happens to have. MIL laughed and said that was earlier then she had planned that as long as they were ready by 8AM, it would be fine. Supposedly she was going to take the kids sailing. 8AM comes and goes, 9AM, 10AM, 11AM, Noon still no MIL. Since the kids are hungry Mother feeds them lunch. 1PM MIL calls and ask to speak to the kids, she ask if they have eaten lunch yet. When they say yes, she goes ballistic and rants that she was going to take them to McDonald's, but since they have already eaten lunch there isn't any point. She ask to speak to my Mom and cusses her out for feeding the kids lunch, then informs her that since they have eaten her plans to take them to McDonald's are shot so she won't bother picking them up today, but she'll be by first thing Tuesday to get them and they better be ready.
Tuesday my Mom has a Doctors appointment. She was going to reschedule but since MIL is suppose to have the kids she didn't. The appointment isn't until 1PM so surely MIL will have picked up the kids before she has to leave at 12:3o PM. By noon my Mother still hasn't heard from MIL, it's to late to cancel the appointment without being charged, so she ask her neighbor if she will stay with the kids until MIL gets there. My Mother fixes the kids a small snack before she leaves because they are hungry. MIL never shows up. That evening MIL calls and cusses my Mother out; when she came to get the kids no one was home. MIL informs her the kids were there waiting for her all day. Well when they came by there weren't any cars in the driveway, so they drove off. They didn't get out, they didn't ring the door bell, they just drove by and saw there weren't any vehicles in the driveway and drove off in a huff. Uhh how did they know Dad didn't have the vehicles around back washing them? Why were my parents obligated to keep a car in the driveway? MIL snarls that the kids better be ready first thing Thursday morning and hangs up.
Thursday MIL shows up around 10AM. She tells the kids it is too late to go sailing. But hey they can go sailing with her Friday (my parents day to have the kids). They tell her they already have plans and NO they do not want to change them. She gets pissed off with them and takes them to her house, when they ask for lunch she gives them some slimy hotdogs straight out of the refrigerator and throws a hissy fit when they refuse to eat them because they have mold on them. The kids then ask if they can go back to Grandma's house, they are tired of sitting around doing nothing and they are hungry. MIL takes them back to my Mom's. She gets out of the car and tells my Mother that she wants the kids Friday. Mother tells her they already have plans, but the kids can decide which they would rather do. The kids butt in with the fact that they have already told MIL that they don't want to go with her Friday, that they have plans and they don't want to change them. MIL leaves in a huff and states she will call first thing Friday in case they have changed their mind.
Friday my Dad is outside feeding the animals and my Mom is in the bathroom when MIL calls. BB answers the phone and tells her again they do not want to go with her. They inform my Mom that MIL has already called, they answered the phone and told her NO! So they leave with my parents and the kids friends (whom my parents have invited along) for a trail ride.
Saturday Dragon and I return to Hades to pick up the kids. Dragon runs out to his Mom's to visit. When he comes back he is in a BAD MOOD. I ask him what's the matter and he says "NOTHING". After talking with the kids I discover the stunts MIL pulled and call my Mom to ask about them. She confirms everything the kids told me and adds that she didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to upset me.
So I confront Dragon, "What did MIL say to put you in a BAD MOOD, we were getting along GREAT until you went to visit her, now YOU are treating me like "S***" and I am tired of it". Mommy didn't want to cause trouble between me and Dragon, so she made him promise not to say anything to me. She just told told him a load of BS because she NEEDED someone to talk to (Yeah right, that's what women always say to the STUPID GUY when they want to cause trouble. If they didn't want to cause trouble they wouldn't say anything. So if any guys are reading this get a clue - when a woman says I don't want to cause trouble between you and __________, I just need someone to talk to what she is really saying is I want you and ________ to get in a fight.).
According to her they over slept Monday (and why is that my parents fault?) and when they woke up MIL didn't feel well. When she got to feeling better she called to see if the kids wanted to go eat lunch but my Mother had already feed them (and she couldn't call before 1PM to explain why she didn't show up at 8AM which is when she said she would be there why? my Mother was suppose to know she wanted to take the kids to lunch how?) Dragon is finally forced to admit that his Mother should have called before 1PM if she wanted to take the kids to lunch, that there was no reason she couldn't have still taken them to McDonald's to play on the playground and gotten them a milkshake or something -after all it's the playground the kids like not the food).
MIL told him Tuesday when they came by no one was there. They wasted their gas and time driving all the way out there and my parents and the kids were gone. I inform Dragon that the kids were there ALL DAY, that my Mom asked a neighbor to come by and stay with the kids until MIL got there because she had to go to a Doctor's appointment and that MIL knows this because my Mom told her when she called that night and cussed my Mother out, and that IF MIL had bothered to stop and ring the door bell she would have been able to get the kids, instead of just driving by. Dragon calls his Mother and ask her IF she rang the doorbell Tuesday. Well NO, they saw all the vehicles were gone so they assumed no one was home and didn't stop (and how is that my parents fault?).
MIL also complained that my parents wouldn't let her have Friday, and it wasn't fair because they had them all day Monday & Tuesday even though those were the days she was suppose to have them and they could have gone trail riding then. I point out that they couldn't have gone trail riding Monday or Tuesday because they were stuck sitting around waiting for MIL to show up (He didn't think of that). Not to mention my Mother had a Doctor's appointment Tuesday. And that the kids had been looking forward to spending time with their friends Friday, since they hadn't gotten to see them the rest of the week ( their friends grandparents are my parents neighbors - they were unable to come visit earlier in the week because their parents had to work). Dragon finally admits it was unfair to expect the kids to change their plans; especially at the last minute. He also can't come up with a good reason why MIL didn't take the kids to McDonald's Thursday when she had them instead of trying to feed them raw, moldy hotdogs because that was all she had - and they never cook their hotdogs, they like them raw. He also has to admit that there was no way my parents could get in touch with MIL because she will not answer the phone.
Dragon may no longer be mad, but now I am furious. First that MIL treated my parents the way she did. Secondly that Dragon got mad at me for something I had no control over. I am also very sad that we will never be able to go anywhere alone until the kids are grown or MIL is dead without MIL causing trouble over the kids spending time with my parents.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
My parents are 10 years older then Dragons parents. My Dad just turned 65 and he decided to retire. What's the problem you ask????
MIL has decided that it isn't fair that neither of my parents work and can come see me whenever they want (my Mother has always been a homemaker - MIL was a homemaker until she ditched FIL). She starts whining about not being able to retire. Give me a break she is only 55. SO has also retired and wants to travel so MIL is upset about not being able to go on trips with SO. She calls Dragon constantly complaining about having to work when Jade's parents don't.
The company MIL works at hired a new girl who happens to be African-American. MIL starts complaining about the lazy "N" while at work and makes sure the new girl hears her. The new girl complains to management about being harassed and MIL gets fired. This allows her to draw unemployment for awhile but she is constantly asking Dragon for money. She also manages to convince Dragon that getting fired wasn't her fault. I beg to differ. Even if I believe MIL's story that the girl came in late every morning thus creating more work for MIL, there were better ways to handle the situation. Like documenting the fact the girl was coming in late and taking the issue to management for them to handle. Not hurling racial slurs at the girl. And give me a break I am sure MIL was late to work at least once.
Her unemployed status has become permanent. MIL has no intention of looking for another job and her unemployment has run out. She has convinced Dragon that she can't find another job, that nobody wants to hire someone her age. Dragon is feeling guilty about not contributing to his Mother's household when they are in dire financial straights. So dire they ran out and bought a brand new, gas guzzling, SUV. I will be so happy when MIL turns 62 and can draw Social Security.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
I'll be posting another story in a few weeks.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
About a year ago after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids, my cousins wife announces that she is a lesbian and she wants a divorce so she can go off with her lesbian lover and find herself. My cousin gets custody of the two boys 9 and 7, it turns out that their 3 month old little girl isn't even his so his ex gets custody of her. And gosh for most people the story would end there right?
For some reason my cousin's ex-wife, Betty-Sue refuses to accept she is no longer a part of our family. She showed up with her lesbian lover in tow Thanksgiving, at our Grandparents' house. When she was politely asked to leave she stated that she had as much right to be there as the rest of the family, and started ranting that we were homophopic and that we had no right to throw her out of the family. What part of EX does this woman not get, she isn't my cousin's wife anymore, so she is no longer a part of our family. She cheated on my cousin so we don't like her very much and come on rather you are gay or straight bringing your lover to a get-to-gather at you ex's Grandparents' house that you were not invited to is tacky. We had to call the police to get her and her lover to leave and she was screaming discrimination the whole blooming time. As far as I know in America you are still free not to invite people to dinner at your house if you don't want them there.
Luckily for me I spent Christmas with my in~laws (who are wonderful people, that I love very much) so I missed the drama. Betty-Sue showed up on my Grandparents' doorstep with the kids and her lesbian lover in tow. My grandparents didn't want to hurt their great-grandkids feelings by asking them to leave (thanks to some stupid judge she gets them every other holiday) so they were allowed in. Betty-Sue and her lover proceeded to stick their tongues down each others throat in front of everyone. My Uncle told them the kids were welcome to stay but that they needed to leave. Again they refused to leave. Betty-Sue insisted that she is still part of the family and that she is ENTITLED to come to family get-to-gathers. Again the police were called to escort Betty-Sue and her girlfriend off the premises. Unfortunately the kids had to leave with them.
The final straw was Labor Day. My parents have the family up to their lake house for an end of summer cook-out. You probably guessed, Betty-Sue showed up, this time without her girlfriend. My cousin has finally managed to move on with his life and is engaged to be married (after everything Betty-Sue has put him through he deserves some happiness). Betty-Sue proceeded to call his fiancee a home wrecking slut (wait a minute you & cousin had been divorced for six months before they meet so exactly HOW did she wreck your home?). She then proceeded to lecture our grandparents and his parents on their duty to stop cousin from marrying someone else, he needs to remarry HER, for their children's sake (GET REAL!). You know those children she didn't think twice about when SHE wanted a divorce. When my parents asked her to leave she refused and started ranting about how she was a part of our family, and that IF anyone was asked to leave it should be cousin's fiancee. My parents wound up calling the police. Frankly this nutcase is scary!!! What part of EX as in NOT does she not get? Why does she keep insisting on being part of a family that doesn't want her around?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Let set a bit of background. My great grandparents came over on a boat from Sicily at the turn of the 1900's.....Which makes me pretty much the first generation of Americanized folk. Even though my father and Auntie were born here, they were still brought up in a different culture, so to speak.
Its kind of important, since I think that is part of why Auntie is well, fucked up in the head. Not an excuse, mind you. In life, you get choices, and frankly she choose wrong in many many ways.
Much like Jades Outlaws, Dad's sister has always been a bit off. So when Jade says things like "its little things that are wrong that folks do, but you cant quite prove them" I know exactly what she's talking about. All the little things add up after a while.
When my father got married to my mother, she wasn't, well, Italian or Sicilian. So they didn't like her at first(grandma eventually warmed up as did her sister(my great aunt). But that's when it kinda started I assume.
Auntie apparently, has always been jealous of my Dad. He's a stubborn goat, and went his own way. Left their area, started his own business. Did things his own way. Also being a male child in an Italian culture means a bit more for some reason, so even though Auntie was older, Dad's always had more responsibility.
So when I was born(oldest child), that's when those "little odd things that don't make sense, but try to be passed off as mistakes" started happening.
When I was a baby, I got one of those bad baby fevers. You know the kind that spike your temp up to 105/106 degrees. Auntie, in trying to help, tried wrapping me in a blanket to "keep me warm." If you know anything about fevers, that's NOT how you bring a fever down. Dad put me in a cold tub and eventually the fever broke. But still....
Over the years there was more, I'm sure. More than they ever told me. But Dad wanted to keep the family peace, so you know, most of it was petty crap, and not worth it, or it didn't effect us(like when my parents had my sister, the only girl in the family, her jealousy went into high mode. Apparently she slept with her sons friend who was staying with them at the house, apparently to get pregnant......To get a girl child or some nonsense).
But all that came to a head later on. When my sister was 5, she died in a car accident. Auntie was very "helpful", but kept going on and on and on how she was "in a better place" and how "she was better off now"....Looking back we could see she was a just a bit too gleeful then.....
But then MORE odd things happened. Things like when my youngest brother had birthday, he would get a birthday card, but cards that were for girls, not a boy. And the time I got married I got a coffee maker, in a new box, but it was a used coffee maker.....More oops. Or the time she said, point blank to my father at my grandmother's house my sister was "better off dead since dad would have molested her" to my dad, mom and grandmother.
Enough was enough. After 25 years of crazy, dad had had enough. So he cut ties with her. We'd still visit my grandmother, but would make sure Auntie wasn't around. Nor any events she was at. But grandma kept at my father to "make peace with Auntie". No one tries to do guilt like a Sicilian grandmother.
My father's response was simple and to the point. He'd simply ask her "Has she got mental help for her problems?" and when the answer was no, he'd say no to anything else.
Sadly, we also ended up cutting ties to grandma. Great lady, but she had this selective memory over items Auntie did. Remembered the good, but not the bad. When dad would go over items in her fincaials and money was missing(Auntie was obviously embezzling grandma's bonds to pay for mistakes made, by either her or her son's failed business), grandma would either denied having them or "loaned her the money".
So dad cut all ties, or as he put it, "they're dead to me."
*shrug* Grandma passed away many years ago, and not one of us ever went down to the funeral. Dad went himself, alone, and settled the estate and we haven't been back to that state since.
So if you got outlaws and stories start seeming similar, you might want to try real hard to convince you SO to cut ties. Because you will just have more crap, more excuses, and more bad items......
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Friday, August 04, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
We found the PERFECT house, so far so good. So we go to the bank to get the loan. When the loan officer breaks the news to Dragon, that his wife BETTY (MIL's NAME) has a lot of store credit cards that haven't been paid off and a VISA card that she is only paying the minimum due on and has a 10K balance.
We inform the loan officer that 1.) Dragon's wife's name is Jade not Betty and 2.) I DO NOT and have NEVER had any store credit cards much less a Visa with a balance of 10K. He informs us that sorry but BETTY has used Dragon's social security number to get these cards so our credit is SHOT.
Dragon calls MIL, yes she has all these card (sob) and yes the Visa is in Dragon's name because she can't get credit. She claims the store cards were in FIL's name before the divorce, and somehow the stores must have made a mistake for it to show up on our credit report.
I contact the store credit card companies to get the snafu with them straightened out. She used Dragon's social security number to open the accounts, they were opened after her divorce from FIL (not before like she told Dragon), and she got creative and used the month and day Dragon was born and the year FIL was born. She opened these accounts when Dragon was 12 years old. Since minors can't legally get credit cards in their names they will close the accounts, and remove the black marks from our credit report.
Now for the VISA, she acquired it when Dragon was 18, so unless he is willing to testify against her there is nothing they will do. It can't be closed until the 10K is paid off (we don't have 10K) and there is NOTHING to prevent MIL from making more charges on it until it is closed. Dragon of course refuses to testify against his MOTHER.
I make a trip to my Uncle the lawyer (boy does he come in handy). He contacts the credit card company, and here in lies our salvation (I am a BITCH). When she got the credit card in Dragon's name as the primary card holder she checked spouse for other authorized user and she is signing the credit card Mrs. Dragon (so technically it's MY Identity she is stealing). I will PROSECUTE HER FOR IDENTITY THEFT (if it wrecks my marriage then Dragon isn't much of a man). I send a letter via my attorney demanding that she pay off and close the account within a weeks time or she will be prosecuted for identity theft.
Big surprise she finds some poor sucker to pay off the account and gets it closed. My attorney sends a letter to the credit card company and the companies that check your credit history that they have to keep on file that the Visa Balance was a result of Identity theft. So now our credit is fixed. We can get a loan.
Of course our dream house has been sold in the meantime. We have an offer on another house but it's older and needs extensive remodeling. But it's better then the rental house we are living in. I am just so upset that MIL screwed up our getting the house we really wanted.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
Dragon and I are pg. It should be a happy time but GIL, MIL, and SIL are doing everything they can to ruin it. MIL is pissed off because "SHE ISN'T READY TO BE A GRANDMA". I didn't know I was required to run my life by her time table. SIL is JEALOUS, and GIL is demanding the right to name the baby. Whoa, it's my baby, not hers and the only ones who should be involved in naming Baby Dragon are me and Dragon. After all she is the idiot that insisted her son-in-law and daughter name Dragon JR (because she thought it was so upper class) when they didn't want to and have NEVER called him by his real name or anything remotely resembling his real name for that matter. They called him by the name they wanted to name him. So he has one name on his birth certificate and one name that everyone calls him; which causes all kinds of problems (I will not do that to my child and we won't have a Dragon III). She hates the name me and Dragon picked out for the Baby and is complaining to Dragon about it every chance she gets. It's not going to do her any good, I'll be a bitch if I have to, I am the one carrying the baby, so I get to name it.
Babyshowers should be FUN, right. MIL, ruined mine, and there is NO excuse. I showed her the cute Teddy Bear Themed stuff I had picked out. She knows the nursery is painted mint green to coordinate with the Teddy Bear comforter set I picked out. I showed her some affordable stuff, she could afford that I wanted and needed (diaper bag, sheets, stuff like that). I told her my parents were giving me the comforter set. So what does she do. She buys me an ORANGE (I hate Orange) comforter set with giraffes all over it (excuse me BUT I AM USING TEDDY BEARS - NOT GIRAFFES). Everyone at the shower thought it was weird, and everyone else bought me the stuff I was registered for. According to MIL, she doesn't like green and she doesn't like Teddy Bears (it's my house and my baby's nusery so who gives a F*** what she likes!). She told Dragon that I would need two comforters ????? And that she will be extremely HURT if we don't use hers. Excuse me, but why on earth do I need a comforter set that doesn't match anything else in the nusery? Not to mention that my comforter set comes with a light weight comforter for summer and then a heavy comforter that can be zipped up and turned into a sleeping bag. An extra set of Teddy Bear sheets I could use, some extra blankets I could use but and extra comforter that doesn't match I can't and won't use. Since I know she won't give me the receipt I took the comforter back to the store where she got it, and exchanged it for diapers, since they didn't carry the Teddy Bear stuff I picked out, and without a receipt they wouldn't give me cash. And that's another thing - the store that carries the Teddy Bear stuff is only a few blocks from her house (so it's not like she would have had to go out of her way to shop there) the Ugly giraffe stuff came from a store across town. Of course Dragon is mad at ME, I HURT HIS MOMMY'S FEELINGS. Tough S***, she HURT MY FEELINGS, but Dragon doesn't seem to care about that.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
The first Christmas was the worst. I still had delusions of being considered part of Dragon's family. So we are eating Christmas Dinner with my parents when MIL calls, Dragon's Brother and his girlfriend are at her house so we must come right over, because they cannot stay long. Never mind that we have just sat down to eat with my parents. If we don't come now we will miss BIL and BILG.
So we get over there because Dragon hasn't seen his brother in a year, as Christmas is the only holiday he shows up for. And Dragon's family's archaic ritual begins. The person who will be opening their presents sits in a "special chair" and all their presents are piled up in front of them. So SIL goes first and she gets about 25 presents including a very nice expensive present from me and Dragon that she asked for. Then it's MIL's turn and she gets some very nice gifts from everyone, Then it's BIL's turn he gets around 20 presents, Then it's BILG's turn she got 15 very nice presents including a designer outfit with matching purse and shoes and jewelry to complement the ensemble. Then Dragon gets a few presents then MIL turns to me and laughs and says we ran out of money before we got to you. It felt like a slap in the face. I mean the woman BIL has only been dating for a few months gets presents but they "forgot" their son's WIFE. And in my family you BUDGET your money to make sure you have enough to buy everyone something. You don't splurge on a few people and then ignore the rest of what is suppose to be your family. Since MIL isn't speaking to her Mother, everyone except MIL heads over to GIL's house to give her their presents.
Merry Chistmas in Hades
The next year is even worse (although I didn't think it was possible). I was prepared for the rudeness of no presents for Jade, but I wasn't prepared for SIL's stupidity. Dragon had the opportunity to buy a used computer and printer from a co-worker for SIL, who has been insisting she needs one for her schoolwork. It was more then we could afford but Dragon thought if we went in with FIL and BIL we could swing it. So Dragon asked his Dad if he wanted to do that. Dad and Step-Mom thought it was a great idea; except SIL had asked them for a typewriter and Step-Mom had already bought one with a word processor in it for her. She said she didn't have a problem returning it and giving us the money to buy the computer (which was more then their share of the computer would have been, but would cover BIL's shortfall) BUT since it was what SIL had asked them for they wanted to call and ask her first which she wanted the computer w/ printer or the typewriter. The situation was explained to SIL and she choose the typewriter. She was on a speaker phone so Dragon and I both heard her say she would rather have the typewriter then the computer.
(Side note SIL never goes to visit her Father, we are expected to pick up her gifts from FIL and Step-Mom when we go to visit them and bring them with us to MIL's)
So we get to MIL's Christmas and SIL unwraps all her presents which includes a very nice outfit with accessories from me and Dragon. She then looks at Dragon and says "WHERE IS MY COMPUTER, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO GET ME A COMPUTER" and proceeds to throw a temper tantrum because she didn't get a computer. Dragon attempts to explain that since she told FIL she wanted the typewriter not the computer she got the typewriter. Turns out she expected a typewriter from FIL & Step-Mom and a computer from us. She then announces that she doesn't want the typewriter IF she can't have the computer too and calls FIL and Step-Mom and demands the receipt so she can take it back and Dragon can buy the computer for her (Wait a minute we have already bought her a present and she isn't mentioning giving it back to us so I can return it for the cash). So she makes Dragon PROMISE to buy her the computer and says she will give him the cash she gets back when she returns the typewriter. So DUMB Dragon feels bad for disappointing his sister and buys the demon computer with printer we can't afford, and she gives him $50 (the typewriter cost $300 according to Step-Mom) when confronted with that fact SIL admits she spent $250 on new clothes.
After all this Dragon can't afford to buy me anything or take me out for my birthday, which is after Christmas and no one understands why I am upset. Not to mention we are suppose to be saving for a HOUSE, but DRAGON's stupid Mother, Sister, and Grandmother are bleeding us dry. I HATE the holidays...........................
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Our First Thanksgiving
First it's important for you to know that Dragon is a Jr. Dragon Sr. and MIL had been divorced for 15 years when I meet Dragon, and MIL had been briefly married to someone else, but after her second marriage ended she got her name legally changed back to Dragon Sr.'s name and she insist on signing herself as Mrs. Dragon. How retarded is that????
So we are back from the honeymoon and Dragon gets a job thousands of miles away from Hades (thank the Lord, several marriage counselors have stated our marriage would not have survived MIL, GIL & SIL if we lived in the same town). So we relocate and everything is going great. I find a rental house we can afford in a decent neighborhood, we get the power and water turned on and then we try to get a phone.
The phone company informs us that Dragon already has a phone in Hades, and that we either have to transfer that phone here (meaning MIL's bill is also transferred here) or we have to have it disconnected. Dragon decides his needs to call MOMMY and see why she has the phone is his name and social security number. She insist that she can't get a phone in her name and that we will either have to do without a phone (remember we are thousands of miles away from anyone we know) or get the phone in my name instead of Dragons. I find this unacceptable as I don't want to be responsible for MIL's phone bill. Dragon finally tells her she will have to get the phone in her name. She says she will, but two weeks later she still has her phone is Dragon's name. This is one time when her using Mrs. Dragon works for me. I finally got feed up and called the phone company and told them I was Mrs. Dragon (which I am) and I wanted the phone at Hades disconnected (so MIL would get the bill). The next day bright and early before she can possible have her phone reconnected under Dragon's name I run to the phone company and pay the deposit to have our phone turned on under Dragon's name and get it password protect so she can't cause any problems with it. Can you believe the woman called and complained because I had her phone turned off? First she had no business having her phone under Dragon's name and secondly I think two weeks was plenty of time for her to take care of it.
Of course stupid, dumb, naive me didn't bother asking myself what else more important then a phone she might have in Dragon's name. She'll cause problems again, but that's another post.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Yeah, I know most people wouldn't consider a birthday a holiday, but in Dragon's family his SISTER's birthday is a major event, that mustn't be missed by Dragon under any circumstances. She would be devastated, crushed, maimed for life (you get the idea).
So we are back from the honeymoon, getting settled out of town where Dragon found a job (which somehow MIL, SIL, & GIL are convinced it's my fault we moved out of town) when MIL calls to make sure that we will be "home" for SIL's birthday. Dragon tries to tell her that 1.) we can't really afford to make the trip (Our savings have been depleted by things like rent, the rental deposit, the deposits for the phone, electricity, water and food) and 2.) we both have to work. So MIL lays a major guilt trip on him and then adds that we need to buy SIL something special because she is SO DEPRESSED that Dragon doesn't live at home anymore.
So we get up at dawn in order to get to SIL's birthday on time. Turns out MIL had us getting there an hour early. It also turns out that MIL had forgotten to buy drinks & ice, didn't think she had enough paper plates and cups, and did we think the very, very small cake she had gotten would be big enough to feed 50 people? NO!!!!, especially since that was all she had to serve. So Dragon was dispatched to fetch all this junk, which he paid for with our credit card, with the understanding that MIL would reimburse us. Needless to say when we presented her with the bill she didn't have the money (20 years later she still hasn't had the money to repay us). So now we are in debt not only for the trip and the birthday present we bought SIL but for the party supplies. And MIL fails to see why I might be a tad upset. I also found out from various relatives that not having the supplies needed for the party and having one guest to show up early to fetch them was standard operating procedure for MIL.
And while SIL's birthday is a huge event, Dragon only rates a card (if they bother to remember). Needless to say they have never bothered to remember my birthday and once me and Dragon had kids they couldn't be bothered to remember their birthdays either.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Then when the photographer is taking pictures, that MY FAMILY paid for. My MIL insisted on having a picture of "just her family" made. A picture that I was excluded from. Again I was speechless, especially as my family footed the bill for the entire wedding, including the photographs. And did she offer to reimburse us for her family photograph, NO!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Actually my future MIL, SIL and GIL (Grandmother in law) were very nice to me when I was dating Dragon. According to Dragon his whole family thought I was wonderful.
Years later when Dragon and I were having marital problems and MIL thought he was going to leave me she confessed that "She never thought I would marry him, that I was just slumming" (What a nice thing to say to your son).
The first inkling of what a selfish monster my future MIL was came when Dragon graduated from college. FMIL decided the day of Dragon's graduation that if her "girlfriend" wasn't invited she wasn't coming. As FSIL, and FGIL were suppose to ride with her this created a HUGE problem. FGIL insisted that she didn't feel like driving and that she thought something was wrong with her car anyway. Thus FGIL and FSIL had to ride with me and Dragon. This meant that Dragon and I would be unable to attend the after graduation parties as we wouldn't have anywhere to leave FGIL and FSIL. If that's not bad enough FGIL insisted on sitting up front by Dragon, which meant I got stuck in the back seat (where I got car sick), then she had to stop to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes what should have been a 2 hour drive took over 3 hours and Dragon was almost too late to get in line to graduate. I wound up dropping everyone off and looking for a spot to ditch the car on my own. And to top it off FGIL and FSIL didn't even bother to save me a seat. ................
Then Dragon thought that after we dropped his Grandmother and Sister off we could enjoy a nice romantic dinner for two to make up for the graduation parties we missed. We dropped FGIL off at her house and then headed to Dragon's house to drop FSIL off. His Mother wasn't home and FSIL refused to stay by herself (for crying out loud she was 15). So we headed back to FGIL house with FSIL in tow to leave her there. The woman who didn't feel like driving and who thought her car was broke was GONE. Our romantic dinner for two tuned into a threesome. A dinner I paid for btw. Did FSIL tell me thank you, NO!
But two weeks later Dragon and I said "I do".
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Hopefully I won't have to get rid of Dragon to solve my in~law problem.
- ► September (5)
- ► August (7)
- How MIL Screws Up Our Plans to Buy Our Dream House...
- Back Story Part III
- Back Story Part II
- Whose Baby is It?????
- I Hate The Holidays - Part III
- I Hate The Holidays - Part II
- Back Story Part I
- I Hate The Holidays - Part I
- In The Beginning -Part II
- In The Beginning
- Welcome to HadesI know many of you have absolutely...
- My Arrogant In-laws