MIL has tried to kill me twice

Food Poisoning

The first time was when me and Dragon had plans to go on a second honeymoon, and my parents (who live in Hades too) were going to keep the kids BB (Baby Boy) and DD (Dear Daughter). As soon as she found out she started complaining that it was unfair my parents were going to get to spend time with the kids and she wasn't. She threw such a hissy fit that Dragon delayed our plans until she was off, so she could at least go over to my parents and spend some time with them during the day. And she insisted that we spend the night before we left with her, since the kids would be sleeping at my parents the rest of the time. So we get there only to find out that she has decided to take a road trip with SO, so she won't be spending time with the kids after all (Great news as far as I am concerned). It's late (all the restaurants in Hades are closed by now), and we are tired and hungry. She proceeds to feed us leftovers. I wind up with some chili (because Dragon doesn't like spicy food). BB comes over and wants some of the chili, I proceed to share. MIL says something about BB doesn't need spicy food. I reply he eats spicy food at home all the time. MIL and SO look at each other. SO inserts that maybe we shouldn't be eating the chili as it's been in the refrigerator for awhile (then why did you give it to me to eat). BB and I get terribly sick and wind up in the hospital with food poisoning. I spend what was to be my second honeymoon puking. And Dragon wants to know WHY me and the kids will not eat at MIL's, GIL's and SIL's. It hurts their feelings that we will not eat their cooking. Well it hurts my feelings that MIL gave me food poisoning and Dragon buys it was an accident. GIL often confuses salt with sugar and while Dragon may be willing to choke down an inedible dish in order not to hurt her feelings, I am not. And with SIL's sick fantasies only a fool would eat something she cooked for them.

MIL Tries to Choke Me to Death

I may have mentioned this when I wrote Credit Card Fraud. When I had my lawyer contact MIL about paying off the credit card she obtained in Dragon's name she was highly upset that I expected her to pay her own bills (big surprise). So she took off work and her and SIL drove down to have it out with me. At the time I was in bed sick and Dragon was on his way out the door to get my prescription filled. I heard yelling and screaming in the garage so I drug myself out of bed to see who was out there and what was going on (I also wanted to get to our phone, if Dragon wasn't there). And there is MIL and SIL screaming at Dragon about what an awful wife he has. When I appear SIL demands to know how I could demand MIL pay off her credit card bill after everything she has done for us? Um, exactly what has MIL every done for us? SIL starts in on how MIL bought Dragon a suit when he graduated from college so he could go on job interviews. Not so, I bought Dragon's suit, MIL didn't understand why he couldn't wear a nice pair of jeans and a clean T-shirt to an interview. And Dragon felt lousy about having to ask his fiancee to buy him clothes. So what has MIL done for us?????? Of course SIL couldn't name anything. Then MIL starts in on how she is Dragon's Mother and he will always love her and that he "owes" it to her to help her with expenses. And that he will never love me as much as he loved his ex-girlfriend (who is divorced again), and that I am going to wind up alone because I am a selfish unfeeling b****. Ok, I am sick, don't feel good, I want my medicine and don't feel like putting up with this C***, and Dragon is just standing there so.....................................I telling her that being a selfish, unfeeling b*** is better the being a free loading S***, and that IF she and SIL don't leave my home immediately I am calling the cops. MIL lunges for me wraps her hands around my neck and proceeds to choke me. Dragon pulls her off me and tells her to leave. After some argument she does. Dragon talks me out of calling the cops. If I had felt better, I probably would have called them, but at this point I just want to crawl back in bed, and I want Dragon to hurry up and get my medicine. I do keep the phone with me in case MIL and SIL come back while Dragon is gone. IF they show up I plan to call the cops, I don't feel like dealing with them.