The Story of My Father's Sister.

After a couple of conversations with Jade, she invited me to retell the story of my father's sister, who we'll just call Auntie.

Let set a bit of background. My great grandparents came over on a boat from Sicily at the turn of the 1900's.....Which makes me pretty much the first generation of Americanized folk. Even though my father and Auntie were born here, they were still brought up in a different culture, so to speak.

Its kind of important, since I think that is part of why Auntie is well, fucked up in the head. Not an excuse, mind you. In life, you get choices, and frankly she choose wrong in many many ways.

Much like Jades Outlaws, Dad's sister has always been a bit off. So when Jade says things like "its little things that are wrong that folks do, but you cant quite prove them" I know exactly what she's talking about. All the little things add up after a while.

When my father got married to my mother, she wasn't, well, Italian or Sicilian. So they didn't like her at first(grandma eventually warmed up as did her sister(my great aunt). But that's when it kinda started I assume.

Auntie apparently, has always been jealous of my Dad. He's a stubborn goat, and went his own way. Left their area, started his own business. Did things his own way. Also being a male child in an Italian culture means a bit more for some reason, so even though Auntie was older, Dad's always had more responsibility.

So when I was born(oldest child), that's when those "little odd things that don't make sense, but try to be passed off as mistakes" started happening.

When I was a baby, I got one of those bad baby fevers. You know the kind that spike your temp up to 105/106 degrees. Auntie, in trying to help, tried wrapping me in a blanket to "keep me warm." If you know anything about fevers, that's NOT how you bring a fever down. Dad put me in a cold tub and eventually the fever broke. But still....

Over the years there was more, I'm sure. More than they ever told me. But Dad wanted to keep the family peace, so you know, most of it was petty crap, and not worth it, or it didn't effect us(like when my parents had my sister, the only girl in the family, her jealousy went into high mode. Apparently she slept with her sons friend who was staying with them at the house, apparently to get pregnant......To get a girl child or some nonsense).

But all that came to a head later on. When my sister was 5, she died in a car accident. Auntie was very "helpful", but kept going on and on and on how she was "in a better place" and how "she was better off now"....Looking back we could see she was a just a bit too gleeful then.....

But then MORE odd things happened. Things like when my youngest brother had birthday, he would get a birthday card, but cards that were for girls, not a boy. And the time I got married I got a coffee maker, in a new box, but it was a used coffee maker.....More oops. Or the time she said, point blank to my father at my grandmother's house my sister was "better off dead since dad would have molested her" to my dad, mom and grandmother.

Enough was enough. After 25 years of crazy, dad had had enough. So he cut ties with her. We'd still visit my grandmother, but would make sure Auntie wasn't around. Nor any events she was at. But grandma kept at my father to "make peace with Auntie". No one tries to do guilt like a Sicilian grandmother.

My father's response was simple and to the point. He'd simply ask her "Has she got mental help for her problems?" and when the answer was no, he'd say no to anything else.

Sadly, we also ended up cutting ties to grandma. Great lady, but she had this selective memory over items Auntie did. Remembered the good, but not the bad. When dad would go over items in her fincaials and money was missing(Auntie was obviously embezzling grandma's bonds to pay for mistakes made, by either her or her son's failed business), grandma would either denied having them or "loaned her the money".

So dad cut all ties, or as he put it, "they're dead to me."

*shrug* Grandma passed away many years ago, and not one of us ever went down to the funeral. Dad went himself, alone, and settled the estate and we haven't been back to that state since.

So if you got outlaws and stories start seeming similar, you might want to try real hard to convince you SO to cut ties. Because you will just have more crap, more excuses, and more bad items......