How MIL Screws Up Our Plans to Buy Our Dream House

Credit Card Fraud

We found the PERFECT house, so far so good. So we go to the bank to get the loan. When the loan officer breaks the news to Dragon, that his wife BETTY (MIL's NAME) has a lot of store credit cards that haven't been paid off and a VISA card that she is only paying the minimum due on and has a 10K balance.

We inform the loan officer that 1.) Dragon's wife's name is Jade not Betty and 2.) I DO NOT and have NEVER had any store credit cards much less a Visa with a balance of 10K. He informs us that sorry but BETTY has used Dragon's social security number to get these cards so our credit is SHOT.

Dragon calls MIL, yes she has all these card (sob) and yes the Visa is in Dragon's name because she can't get credit. She claims the store cards were in FIL's name before the divorce, and somehow the stores must have made a mistake for it to show up on our credit report.

I contact the store credit card companies to get the snafu with them straightened out. She used Dragon's social security number to open the accounts, they were opened after her divorce from FIL (not before like she told Dragon), and she got creative and used the month and day Dragon was born and the year FIL was born. She opened these accounts when Dragon was 12 years old. Since minors can't legally get credit cards in their names they will close the accounts, and remove the black marks from our credit report.

Now for the VISA, she acquired it when Dragon was 18, so unless he is willing to testify against her there is nothing they will do. It can't be closed until the 10K is paid off (we don't have 10K) and there is NOTHING to prevent MIL from making more charges on it until it is closed. Dragon of course refuses to testify against his MOTHER.

I make a trip to my Uncle the lawyer (boy does he come in handy). He contacts the credit card company, and here in lies our salvation (I am a BITCH). When she got the credit card in Dragon's name as the primary card holder she checked spouse for other authorized user and she is signing the credit card Mrs. Dragon (so technically it's MY Identity she is stealing). I will PROSECUTE HER FOR IDENTITY THEFT (if it wrecks my marriage then Dragon isn't much of a man). I send a letter via my attorney demanding that she pay off and close the account within a weeks time or she will be prosecuted for identity theft.

Big surprise she finds some poor sucker to pay off the account and gets it closed. My attorney sends a letter to the credit card company and the companies that check your credit history that they have to keep on file that the Visa Balance was a result of Identity theft. So now our credit is fixed. We can get a loan.

Of course our dream house has been sold in the meantime. We have an offer on another house but it's older and needs extensive remodeling. But it's better then the rental house we are living in. I am just so upset that MIL screwed up our getting the house we really wanted.

Back Story Part III

SIL Wants to Live With US

SIL is obsessed with Dragon (I'll get into that in another post-it's sick truly sick). MIL has invited her Significant Other (hereafter known as SO) to move in with her. SIL has decided that she can't possibly live with them. So she has asked Dragon if she can live with us................Thank God, FIL had the brains to ask me how I felt about it, because nobody else bothered too. I will leave if the brat invades my home.

She came to stay with us for a week. Supposedly to help with the housework and baby. The brat created more work for me and if you call telling me the baby is crying (which I could hear for myself) help I feel sorry for you. First off she stayed up late watching TV, as we still live in a small rental house, her TV viewing kept me and Dragon up, and disturbed the baby's slumber. Then she slept till noon and complained to Dragon that I wouldn't take her anywhere. By the time the brat got up, ate breakfast and got dressed it was time for the baby's nap. So no I didn't take her anywhere. I offered to have her go with me to the store (which is one of the places she claimed to want to go) several times, but I told her she had to be dressed by the time I was ready to leave. She refused to get up and go with me, so it's not my problem. I was able to get up get the baby dressed and leave at a decent time, she only had to worry about herself. After the baby woke up from it's nap it was time for me to cook supper, I am sorry OUR schedule is so hard for her to adhere too, it works for me, baby and Dragon I am not changing it for her. Then there is the matter of supper, she refused to eat what I cooked and got Dragon to take her to McDonald's for a hambugher. Thus leaving me alone with the baby and the dirty dishes. And the night Dragon worked late she threw a temper tantrum because he didn't feel like running up to McDonald's by the time he finally got home, he just wanted to go to bed. Her HELP, consisted of telling me the baby was crying when I was in the bathroom. I could hear the baby was crying I just couldn't do anything about it at the moment. When I asked her to change the baby's diaper, she said she was going back to sleep she just wanted to tell me the baby was crying and woke her up (lot of help that was - and she didn't have a problem watching TV all night and preventing me, baby and Dragon from getting a good nights sleep). So no thanks I am not having her stay in my home ever again.

And it's weird. Most seniors in high school wouldn't want to leave their friends. But all SHE cares about is living with Dragon. I can understand her not wanting to live with MIL and SO, but she could live with GIL and attend the same school. But NO, she doesn't want to live with GIL she wants to live with Dragon. And to top it off she is in special education, if she stays in the same school she will graduate next year. If she moves in with me and Dragon a lot of her special education courses will not transfer and she will not have enough credits to graduate. But she doesn't care about that either. She could also live with FIL & Step-Mom, who have kids close to her age, but she doesn't want to live with them she wants to live with Dragon.

Since living with Dragon isn't an option she has decided to stay with MIL and SO, apparently that wasn't ever really an issue for her, she was just using it as an excuse to move in with Dragon.

Back Story Part II

SIL Wants My Car

Ok, first of all FIL, has NEVER bought any of his kids cars. He co-signed loans so they could buy their own used cars. But of course SIL thinks she is special.

SIL doesn't even have a JOB, so there is no way she can make car payments. She has no intention of getting a JOB either. But she is in a snit because her half-brother, got a truck (that Step-Mom co-signed for). HB has a JOB and he is not only making car payments, but he is paying for his insurance too. But since she is a couple of months older she is whining that it's not fair he has a vehicle and she doesn't. Never mind that FIL is currently unemployed as the partnership he has been in for years has been dissolved.

Step-Mom's car needs a new transmission, she is currently driving FIL's truck. So FIL makes SIL an offer. He will either pay $300 to fix the transmission in Step-Mom's car (which is a standard) and give the car to SIL or he will sell the car as is and give SIL whatever he gets out of it +$300, so she can buy her own car. She wants the car (never mind that she can't drive a standard). So FIL gets the car fixed and SIL talks her boy friend into coming with her to get it. Since she can't drive a standard he gets stuck driving the car back, while she drives his automatic. He parks the car under a tree in MIL's yard and that is where it stays until the tires dry rot, and dirt daubbers build nest under the hood.

Now SIL wants to trade it for my car. The car my parents gave me when I graduated from high school. I don't think so. Yes, I can drive a standard but if I had wanted a standard my parents would have given me one. Sorry SIL but you are NOT getting your greedy little hands on my car. No matter how much trouble you cause between me and Dragon, with your whining and begging. It's not my problem you told FIL you wanted a car you had no intention of learning to drive. Grow up and clean up your own mess.

Whose Baby is It?????

Naming the Baby

Dragon and I are pg. It should be a happy time but GIL, MIL, and SIL are doing everything they can to ruin it. MIL is pissed off because "SHE ISN'T READY TO BE A GRANDMA". I didn't know I was required to run my life by her time table. SIL is JEALOUS, and GIL is demanding the right to name the baby. Whoa, it's my baby, not hers and the only ones who should be involved in naming Baby Dragon are me and Dragon. After all she is the idiot that insisted her son-in-law and daughter name Dragon JR (because she thought it was so upper class) when they didn't want to and have NEVER called him by his real name or anything remotely resembling his real name for that matter. They called him by the name they wanted to name him. So he has one name on his birth certificate and one name that everyone calls him; which causes all kinds of problems (I will not do that to my child and we won't have a Dragon III). She hates the name me and Dragon picked out for the Baby and is complaining to Dragon about it every chance she gets. It's not going to do her any good, I'll be a bitch if I have to, I am the one carrying the baby, so I get to name it.

The Babyshower

Babyshowers should be FUN, right. MIL, ruined mine, and there is NO excuse. I showed her the cute Teddy Bear Themed stuff I had picked out. She knows the nursery is painted mint green to coordinate with the Teddy Bear comforter set I picked out. I showed her some affordable stuff, she could afford that I wanted and needed (diaper bag, sheets, stuff like that). I told her my parents were giving me the comforter set. So what does she do. She buys me an ORANGE (I hate Orange) comforter set with giraffes all over it (excuse me BUT I AM USING TEDDY BEARS - NOT GIRAFFES). Everyone at the shower thought it was weird, and everyone else bought me the stuff I was registered for. According to MIL, she doesn't like green and she doesn't like Teddy Bears (it's my house and my baby's nusery so who gives a F*** what she likes!). She told Dragon that I would need two comforters ????? And that she will be extremely HURT if we don't use hers. Excuse me, but why on earth do I need a comforter set that doesn't match anything else in the nusery? Not to mention that my comforter set comes with a light weight comforter for summer and then a heavy comforter that can be zipped up and turned into a sleeping bag. An extra set of Teddy Bear sheets I could use, some extra blankets I could use but and extra comforter that doesn't match I can't and won't use. Since I know she won't give me the receipt I took the comforter back to the store where she got it, and exchanged it for diapers, since they didn't carry the Teddy Bear stuff I picked out, and without a receipt they wouldn't give me cash. And that's another thing - the store that carries the Teddy Bear stuff is only a few blocks from her house (so it's not like she would have had to go out of her way to shop there) the Ugly giraffe stuff came from a store across town. Of course Dragon is mad at ME, I HURT HIS MOMMY'S FEELINGS. Tough S***, she HURT MY FEELINGS, but Dragon doesn't seem to care about that.

I Hate The Holidays - Part III

Christmas

The first Christmas was the worst. I still had delusions of being considered part of Dragon's family. So we are eating Christmas Dinner with my parents when MIL calls, Dragon's Brother and his girlfriend are at her house so we must come right over, because they cannot stay long. Never mind that we have just sat down to eat with my parents. If we don't come now we will miss BIL and BILG.

So we get over there because Dragon hasn't seen his brother in a year, as Christmas is the only holiday he shows up for. And Dragon's family's archaic ritual begins. The person who will be opening their presents sits in a "special chair" and all their presents are piled up in front of them. So SIL goes first and she gets about 25 presents including a very nice expensive present from me and Dragon that she asked for. Then it's MIL's turn and she gets some very nice gifts from everyone, Then it's BIL's turn he gets around 20 presents, Then it's BILG's turn she got 15 very nice presents including a designer outfit with matching purse and shoes and jewelry to complement the ensemble. Then Dragon gets a few presents then MIL turns to me and laughs and says we ran out of money before we got to you. It felt like a slap in the face. I mean the woman BIL has only been dating for a few months gets presents but they "forgot" their son's WIFE. And in my family you BUDGET your money to make sure you have enough to buy everyone something. You don't splurge on a few people and then ignore the rest of what is suppose to be your family. Since MIL isn't speaking to her Mother, everyone except MIL heads over to GIL's house to give her their presents.

Merry Chistmas in Hades

The next year is even worse (although I didn't think it was possible). I was prepared for the rudeness of no presents for Jade, but I wasn't prepared for SIL's stupidity. Dragon had the opportunity to buy a used computer and printer from a co-worker for SIL, who has been insisting she needs one for her schoolwork. It was more then we could afford but Dragon thought if we went in with FIL and BIL we could swing it. So Dragon asked his Dad if he wanted to do that. Dad and Step-Mom thought it was a great idea; except SIL had asked them for a typewriter and Step-Mom had already bought one with a word processor in it for her. She said she didn't have a problem returning it and giving us the money to buy the computer (which was more then their share of the computer would have been, but would cover BIL's shortfall) BUT since it was what SIL had asked them for they wanted to call and ask her first which she wanted the computer w/ printer or the typewriter. The situation was explained to SIL and she choose the typewriter. She was on a speaker phone so Dragon and I both heard her say she would rather have the typewriter then the computer.

(Side note SIL never goes to visit her Father, we are expected to pick up her gifts from FIL and Step-Mom when we go to visit them and bring them with us to MIL's)
So we get to MIL's Christmas and SIL unwraps all her presents which includes a very nice outfit with accessories from me and Dragon. She then looks at Dragon and says "WHERE IS MY COMPUTER, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO GET ME A COMPUTER" and proceeds to throw a temper tantrum because she didn't get a computer. Dragon attempts to explain that since she told FIL she wanted the typewriter not the computer she got the typewriter. Turns out she expected a typewriter from FIL & Step-Mom and a computer from us. She then announces that she doesn't want the typewriter IF she can't have the computer too and calls FIL and Step-Mom and demands the receipt so she can take it back and Dragon can buy the computer for her (Wait a minute we have already bought her a present and she isn't mentioning giving it back to us so I can return it for the cash). So she makes Dragon PROMISE to buy her the computer and says she will give him the cash she gets back when she returns the typewriter. So DUMB Dragon feels bad for disappointing his sister and buys the demon computer with printer we can't afford, and she gives him $50 (the typewriter cost $300 according to Step-Mom) when confronted with that fact SIL admits she spent $250 on new clothes.

After all this Dragon can't afford to buy me anything or take me out for my birthday, which is after Christmas and no one understands why I am upset. Not to mention we are suppose to be saving for a HOUSE, but DRAGON's stupid Mother, Sister, and Grandmother are bleeding us dry. I HATE the holidays...........................

Which is really sad, because before I married Dragon the holidays were my favorite times of the year.

I Hate The Holidays - Part II

Thanksgiving

Our First Thanksgiving

I didn't think it would be a problem. Dragon's Mother and Grandmother both work, and they never wanted to be bothered cooking and celebrating Thanksgiving before we married. In their own words "It's our one day to sleep late". Until we meet Dragon spent Thanksgiving with his best friend's family and after we got together he spent it with my family. So I was looking forward to a nice Thanksgiving Holiday with my family.

Then the phone rang.......................................

We had to spend Thanksgiving with them. We had to eat at 11AM (when my family has their celebration; due to the numerous elderly relatives that live out of town and cannot drive after dark - with Dragon's family the only people that had to drive any distance are me and Dragon) we couldn't possible celebrate with them in the evening so I could spend some time with my family.

So we get to GIL at 11AM as specified. NOTHING is ready. Dragon ask when it will be ready as we both skipped breakfast and we are starving, She says soon. 12 noon comes and goes it's still not ready, 1PM, 2PM, 3PM, 4PM all pass and it's still not ready. At 5PM when we are suppose to be heading back home, because I have to get up and go to work the next day, Dragon's cousin pulls into the driveway and voila the meal is finally ready and we MUST stay and eat. I didn't even get a chance to run by my parents house and wish them a Happy Thanksgiving and we didn't get back home until midnight. Considering I have to be up at 7AM I am extremely put out.

Things haven't changed. We are suppose to alternate Thanksgivings between MIL and my parents. It never works. Everything is fine on MIL's turn, but when it is my parents turn MIL comes up with some excuse as to WHY we MUST spend the day with her. So we either end up spending the day with GIL, MIL & SIL (Dragon's brother never shows up for Thanksgiving) or me and Dragon get in a huge fight, so I am miserable even if we do spend the day with my folks. I hate being a bitch. But I have discovered over the years that Dragon will do anything to keep people from yelling, crying or pouting. As long as I behaved like the well bred Southern lady my parents raised MIL, GIL, & SIL always got their way. Now that I yell and scream with the best I at least get my way, it's not the best tactic for a happy marriage. But it's the only way my parents will ever get to spend at least some holidays with their only grandkids.

Back Story Part I

How MIL Caused Us Problems Getting A Phone

First it's important for you to know that Dragon is a Jr. Dragon Sr. and MIL had been divorced for 15 years when I meet Dragon, and MIL had been briefly married to someone else, but after her second marriage ended she got her name legally changed back to Dragon Sr.'s name and she insist on signing herself as Mrs. Dragon. How retarded is that????

So we are back from the honeymoon and Dragon gets a job thousands of miles away from Hades (thank the Lord, several marriage counselors have stated our marriage would not have survived MIL, GIL & SIL if we lived in the same town). So we relocate and everything is going great. I find a rental house we can afford in a decent neighborhood, we get the power and water turned on and then we try to get a phone.

The phone company informs us that Dragon already has a phone in Hades, and that we either have to transfer that phone here (meaning MIL's bill is also transferred here) or we have to have it disconnected. Dragon decides his needs to call MOMMY and see why she has the phone is his name and social security number. She insist that she can't get a phone in her name and that we will either have to do without a phone (remember we are thousands of miles away from anyone we know) or get the phone in my name instead of Dragons. I find this unacceptable as I don't want to be responsible for MIL's phone bill. Dragon finally tells her she will have to get the phone in her name. She says she will, but two weeks later she still has her phone is Dragon's name. This is one time when her using Mrs. Dragon works for me. I finally got feed up and called the phone company and told them I was Mrs. Dragon (which I am) and I wanted the phone at Hades disconnected (so MIL would get the bill). The next day bright and early before she can possible have her phone reconnected under Dragon's name I run to the phone company and pay the deposit to have our phone turned on under Dragon's name and get it password protect so she can't cause any problems with it. Can you believe the woman called and complained because I had her phone turned off? First she had no business having her phone under Dragon's name and secondly I think two weeks was plenty of time for her to take care of it.

Of course stupid, dumb, naive me didn't bother asking myself what else more important then a phone she might have in Dragon's name. She'll cause problems again, but that's another post.

I Hate The Holidays - Part I

SIL's Birthday

Yeah, I know most people wouldn't consider a birthday a holiday, but in Dragon's family his SISTER's birthday is a major event, that mustn't be missed by Dragon under any circumstances. She would be devastated, crushed, maimed for life (you get the idea).

So we are back from the honeymoon, getting settled out of town where Dragon found a job (which somehow MIL, SIL, & GIL are convinced it's my fault we moved out of town) when MIL calls to make sure that we will be "home" for SIL's birthday. Dragon tries to tell her that 1.) we can't really afford to make the trip (Our savings have been depleted by things like rent, the rental deposit, the deposits for the phone, electricity, water and food) and 2.) we both have to work. So MIL lays a major guilt trip on him and then adds that we need to buy SIL something special because she is SO DEPRESSED that Dragon doesn't live at home anymore.

So we get up at dawn in order to get to SIL's birthday on time. Turns out MIL had us getting there an hour early. It also turns out that MIL had forgotten to buy drinks & ice, didn't think she had enough paper plates and cups, and did we think the very, very small cake she had gotten would be big enough to feed 50 people? NO!!!!, especially since that was all she had to serve. So Dragon was dispatched to fetch all this junk, which he paid for with our credit card, with the understanding that MIL would reimburse us. Needless to say when we presented her with the bill she didn't have the money (20 years later she still hasn't had the money to repay us). So now we are in debt not only for the trip and the birthday present we bought SIL but for the party supplies. And MIL fails to see why I might be a tad upset. I also found out from various relatives that not having the supplies needed for the party and having one guest to show up early to fetch them was standard operating procedure for MIL.

And while SIL's birthday is a huge event, Dragon only rates a card (if they bother to remember). Needless to say they have never bothered to remember my birthday and once me and Dragon had kids they couldn't be bothered to remember their birthdays either.

In The Beginning -Part II

The Wedding From Hell

No kidding, my wedding day was one of the worst days of my life.

It started off nice enough, beautiful sunny summer day, all a girl good ask for. And like most girls I had been imagining my wedding day ever since I was a very little girl. I always imagined it as a day full of happiness and love, the reality was MUCH different.

Since Dragon told me his WHOLE family loved me, silly me thought they would be happy we were getting married. Stupid me was dumb enough to ask his sister to be a junior bridesmaid. Boy was that a mistake. While I am getting dressed for my big day, she is in the bridal room yelling and screaming that she hates me, that I am stealing her brother, and that she doesn't want me to marry Dragon. Needless to say I was speechless. She did finally knock off the temper tantrum, but she sniffled through the whole wedding.

Then when the photographer is taking pictures, that MY FAMILY paid for. My MIL insisted on having a picture of "just her family" made. A picture that I was excluded from. Again I was speechless, especially as my family footed the bill for the entire wedding, including the photographs. And did she offer to reimburse us for her family photograph, NO!

In The Beginning

Dating

Actually my future MIL, SIL and GIL (Grandmother in law) were very nice to me when I was dating Dragon. According to Dragon his whole family thought I was wonderful.

Years later when Dragon and I were having marital problems and MIL thought he was going to leave me she confessed that "She never thought I would marry him, that I was just slumming" (What a nice thing to say to your son).

The first inkling of what a selfish monster my future MIL was came when Dragon graduated from college. FMIL decided the day of Dragon's graduation that if her "girlfriend" wasn't invited she wasn't coming. As FSIL, and FGIL were suppose to ride with her this created a HUGE problem. FGIL insisted that she didn't feel like driving and that she thought something was wrong with her car anyway. Thus FGIL and FSIL had to ride with me and Dragon. This meant that Dragon and I would be unable to attend the after graduation parties as we wouldn't have anywhere to leave FGIL and FSIL. If that's not bad enough FGIL insisted on sitting up front by Dragon, which meant I got stuck in the back seat (where I got car sick), then she had to stop to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes what should have been a 2 hour drive took over 3 hours and Dragon was almost too late to get in line to graduate. I wound up dropping everyone off and looking for a spot to ditch the car on my own. And to top it off FGIL and FSIL didn't even bother to save me a seat. ................

Then Dragon thought that after we dropped his Grandmother and Sister off we could enjoy a nice romantic dinner for two to make up for the graduation parties we missed. We dropped FGIL off at her house and then headed to Dragon's house to drop FSIL off. His Mother wasn't home and FSIL refused to stay by herself (for crying out loud she was 15). So we headed back to FGIL house with FSIL in tow to leave her there. The woman who didn't feel like driving and who thought her car was broke was GONE. Our romantic dinner for two tuned into a threesome. A dinner I paid for btw. Did FSIL tell me thank you, NO!

But two weeks later Dragon and I said "I do".

Welcome to Hades

I know many of you have absolutely wonderful in~laws, who welcomed you to the family with open arms. You don't have a clue why all those in~law jokes abound. Sorry this blog isn't for you, unless you just want to read about how the rest of us suffer.

On the other hand there are those of us who have in~laws from HELL, this blog is for you. Some of you will read this blog and say "Man I thought I had it bad" and feel much better because while your in~laws are bad they aren't nearly as bad as mine. Others will read this blog and say "If only I had it so good, my in~laws are much worse then yours" and be depressed for days. And a lucky few of you while you have in~laws from hell at least have spouses that support you (please tell us, how do you get your spouse to stand up to MOMMY!!).

Feel free to comment, and offer advice .....................

If you have a story to tell and want to post at In~laws From Hell just send me an email at jadedragon6002@aol.com and I will be happy to add you to the team.

My Arrogant In-laws

I thought I had it bad, after reading some of the post on My Arrogant In-laws blog, I am beginning to see that at least hubby stands up to his Mother, Sister, and Grandmother sometimes. I did get to pick out my own house, at least.

Hopefully I won't have to get rid of Dragon to solve my in~law problem.